I always thought about writing this one day..
I just couldnt find the right time, or the right state of mind.
Its all about timing. And my timing is always wrong.
I feel overwhelmed. I have so many people in my life, so many faces, so much tenderness.
And I am overwhelmed.
Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.. However, thankyou is nowhere sufficient to all the gratitude I hold.
This year, I found the little kid in me. And tried to keep it, enjoy it, feel it will all my senses.
I tried to raise the child in me. Ive put goals, ways. Ive dreamed.
I passed through a thousand emotions.
I have almost fallen in love with a great person.
Almost felt love.
Almost seen it.
But almost is ephemeral.
I loved the one I have always loved, again.
Ive hated him too.
I became faithful to a memory that will always be just that, a memory.
I asked for forgiveness.
I have been forgiven.
Ive been hurt.
And I forgave.
I envied her red hair.
And I hated his hands for touching her.
And it didnt get me anywhere.
It only made me feel uglier.
I pushed away the most important people in my life.
I have been called the most terrible names by the ones I thought always loved me.
Ive found peace in my childhood, and I go back to it whenever I can.
I danced in the middle of the streets, at 2 in the morning on a cold night, while my friends and everybody else watching was laughing.
I lied in the sun for hours, and enjoyed the rays that were beating my skin.
I am not a perfect person, and I dont wanna be.
I will fall, fail, I might even cry..
But if thats what it takes.. Then Ill make it. Again and again and again.
And even if my heels resound into the night, if my eye liner becomes thicker, Ill make sure that my dreams conquer my heart.
Because the child in me has so much more to learn, so much beauty to look at.
To discover the wonders I see now.
To smell them. And keep them in my heartbeats.
I want all the feelings of the world to invade me, and bring this amazing drunkenness.
A friend told me something very strange.. He said: -pray for us-. I laughed and told him that I dont pray, although he already knows it.
And he said: you pray, but in a different way, and to different gods or entities.
I wrote "I" thousand of times, when You, my friends, are all that matter.
And I am overwhelmed.